November 22, 2005--Posted at 9:00 pm
PARAGOULD-- Imagine a body worn, thin, beyond disfunctional ... That's the appearance, the feeling that meth can give you.
"It's the works of the devil.You don't really care about you or anyone else. All you focus on is the dope," Meth Addict Delorise James says.
"I believe that if I wouldn't have found that jail cell that I wouldn't be here. When I went to jail, I was tired ... You know, I even flagged a police officer down and told him I was tired. I was ready. I weighed 98 pounds and i weigh 163 now," James says.
"I lost my son in my addiction, you know, i was out like buying pills to cook dope and he got run over. He was four years old and he got ran over on Bridger Road. He was a good child ... I really don't know what I was thinking ... All I knew is that my whole life had ended then. I had nothing to live for. Even though I had two more children, that was just a burden I had to carry around, and still, I have a hard time forgiving myself for that." James says.
"The thoughts that ran through my head were that I wanted more dope. It's like you'll do anything to get it. It doesn't matter what it is ... Steal ... You know, whatever you have to do.I really got higher off of cooking it than doing it. I cooked it at my home, I cooked it in the streets. It overtook my whole life.It has almost took my life. I took a bunch of pills and almost committed suicide. I cut my wrists. It's just a bug ... A plague ... It will destroy you," James says.
"In my addiction, it has messed all my organs up. I have one functioning kidney, I have no gall bladder, and i have no bladder function ... Meth will steal you, destroy you and kill you. If I could take it all back, I would be the mother that I wanted to be and I would have had god in my life the whole time. And I would have had my family closer than what we are," James says.